The Byron Journals Page 5

  ‘Not anything…’ ‘Does Heidi know that your mum’s a lawyer?’

  ‘No—and I’d rather keep it that way…for now.’

  ‘So you know she hates lawyers.’

  ‘Scum of the earth, I think she said.’

  Tim looked up then back at Andrew. ‘Stand up.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Just do it. C’mon.’

  Andrew stood, palms raised. ‘What?’

  Tim motioned him aside. ‘Move. C’mon, get off the rug.’

  Andrew looked at his feet and stepped off the worn Persian rug. ‘What? Why?’

  Tim moved the coffee table against the wall and flipped back the rug. It took Andrew a moment to register: there was a cellar door cut into the floorboards.

  Without explaining, Tim grabbed two pairs of sunglasses from the kitchen bench and passed one of them to Andrew. ‘Put these on.’ He lifted the cellar door, revealing a rickety wooden staircase. ‘Follow me.’ He made his way down the stairs and disappeared through a slit in two heavy blankets. ‘C’mon!’ he called. Edging down the staircase, Andrew heard a faint hum—the sound of a small engine running. The concrete was cool against his feet; it was dark and he could smell damp. Sunglasses in hand, he pushed through the blankets, then reeled back at the shock of light. He shielded his eyes, slipped on the sunglasses and looked around. The cellar was packed full of plants. Large ones, with stalks as thick as tree trunks and branches heavy with buds. He couldn’t tell how many—but they filled most of the room. Each plant sat in a suspended pot that was connected to a plastic feed tank via a series of black hoses. The walls and ceiling were taped with white reflective plastic, fans blew from fixtures on the walls, and three huge lamps with large white-hot globes hung on chains from the ceiling. He breathed in the potent stench of ripening buds and his heart fluttered. No wonder Tim hadn’t paid much attention to his bag of weed upstairs.

  Tim surveyed the room proudly and laughed. ‘You should see the look on your face!’

  Andrew touched one of the plants and examined the sticky residue on his fingertips. ‘Holy shit.’

  ‘Holy shit, indeed!’ Tim said. ‘So, let’s cut a deal.’

  ‘A deal?’ Andrew studied the thick head of buds crowning the nearest plant. ‘What?’

  ‘You guarantee me your mum’s legal protection if we run into any trouble and I’ll cut you in on the profits.’

  ‘Is Heidi in on it?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Jade?’

  He nodded.

  Andrew gazed around the room at the set-up. It looked pretty professional. Becoming a business partner would cement his relationship with Tim, Jade and Heidi so he could stay in Byron longer. And if they got caught, embarrassing his mum—and forcing her to defend him—would be a good way to get even.

  ‘One condition,’ he said.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I don’t want Heidi to know why you’re cutting me in.’

  ‘What should I tell her?’

  ‘I don’t know, make something up.’

  ‘She’s going to find out eventually.’

  ‘I know. I’m planning to tell her myself, but in my own time.’ He looked at the plants, which were about to become his plants. ‘How much do I get?’

  Tim scratched his head. ‘I don’t know. Ten percent?’ ‘Jesus! Do you know how much my mum charges an hour? Not even an hour. She normally charges in six minute increments.’

  ‘Bullshit.’

  ‘I want twenty-five percent of profits—minimum.’

  ‘Fifteen.’

  Andrew paused. ‘Twenty.’

  Tim drew a breath, held it, then exhaled. ‘Deal.’

  They shook hands and Tim hugged him. Andrew still wasn’t used to the hugging thing and was glad when Tim released him. He nodded and looked around at the plants. He guessed this meant he wasn’t returning to Adelaide anytime soon.

  Halfway through dinner, Tim clapped his hands, leaned forward and rested both elbows on the table. ‘I’ve got an announcement to make.’

  Heidi regarded him warily. ‘What?’

  Tim looked nervous. ‘I’m cutting Andy in on the pot.’ She glared sideways at Andrew. ‘What for? And how much?’

  ‘Twenty percent.’

  ‘What?!’

  ‘Twenty percent.’

  ‘No way! That’s more than Jade and I get!’

  ‘Yeah, but Andy’s gonna help me with the manual labour—system flushes and, you know, technical stuff.’

  Heidi slouched in her seat and crossed her arms. ‘I want twenty percent too.’

  ‘But you’re not doing anything.’

  ‘I’m sharing the risk.’

  ‘What risk?’

  ‘The risk of cops kicking down the door, seizing the set-up and arresting us. The risk of thugs breaking into the house with baseball bats and breaking our legs.’

  Andrew hadn’t considered those possibilities.

  ‘Heidi,’ Tim said. ‘There’s no way—’ She silenced him with a look.

  He sighed. ‘Shit…okay, twenty percent each.’

  The front door clicked shut and Jade walked into the living room. She dropped her bag on the couch and looked at the three of them.

  ‘Hi, babe,’ she said to Tim. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘I’ve cut a deal with Andy.’

  ‘On the pot?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘How much?’

  He glanced at Andrew, then Heidi. ‘Twenty percent.’ Jade smiled. ‘So, I guess that means I get twenty percent too, doesn’t it?’

  He looked away, nodded. ‘I guess it does.’

  The next morning, Andrew sent a text telling his dad to stop contacting him. He received one back: Understand if you need space. Difficult period for everyone. Let me know if you’re stuck for cash. Dad.

  So his dad still hadn’t confessed to his infidelity. Andrew wished he hadn’t accepted the other money from him in the first place. He still had savings from the piano lessons he’d given over the last two years, and he was making enough from busking to take care of food and bills. It was good knowing that he didn’t have to rely on his parents, that he could get by without them.

  When his phone rang, he checked the caller ID. Benny. He’d tried to call repeatedly since returning to Adelaide and Andrew had ignored him.

  ‘What?’ he fumed, banging through the back door.

  ‘Oh!’ Benny said. ‘Finally!’

  Andrew stopped in the middle of the backyard. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘I’m calling to let you know I’m stuck working to pay half of your damage bill.’

  Andrew started pacing, a lump forming in the back of his throat. ‘The apartment was in Richie’s name. You don’t have to pay.’

  ‘That’s a technicality, Andrew. Not everyone can get by on technicalities.’

  ‘Richie’s an arsehole. That’s not a technicality, it’s a fact.’

  ‘I’m not even going to bother arguing with you about this ’cause you know what? You’re always right.’

  ‘Exactly. I am right. Richie caused the problems—so he should pay the bill.’

  ‘It’s out of my hands. Richie’s parents and my parents have agreed to split the bill. But Richie’s parents won’t make him pay them back. So he gets out of it and I’m stuck paying.’

  ‘Shit, Benny.’ Andrew sat on the verandah. ‘I’m sorry—’ ‘Sorry doesn’t cut it. You have to take responsibility.’ ‘I can’t. It’ll make Mum look like an idiot.’

  ‘So what? You got bashed because of her.’

  ‘I’m not doing it.’

  Benny sighed into the phone. ‘I’ll have to work all summer to pay for this.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Andrew thought of the plants. ‘I’ll pay you back, I promise.’

  ‘Whatever, mate. Thanks for nothing.’

  The phone beeped and fell silent. He was wondering if he should call Benny back, when Heidi came out to the verandah and passed him a joint, a Heidi special— no
creases.

  ‘You okay?’

  He nodded and she smiled, sparked the lighter. Andrew put the joint in his mouth and leaned towards the flame. She didn’t pry into who he was talking to, or what he was talking about and it was only later, when Heidi refused to discuss her problems at all, that Andrew realised the extent to which she would expect the same degree of privacy.

  seven

  Stoned on the couch, Andrew re-opened his book, The Doors of Perception, by Aldous Huxley, and made a fifth attempt at the page he’d been stuck on all morning. Something about looking at a chair and becoming the chair, or realising that he existed simultaneously within himself and the chair. Getting stoned hadn’t helped, nor had Jade stripping on the back verandah and rubbing herself down with tanning oil.

  The back door clicked shut and Jade, now clad in a white bikini, dropped her towel on the couch, walked into Tim’s room and returned a moment later with her camera.

  ‘Andy?’ she said, flopping onto the couch beside him.

  He looked up at her clear blue eyes, her tanned skin. The tattoo along the inside of her arm, No Regrets, was written in elaborate cursive—the irony of which he suddenly found amusing. ‘Hi,’ he said and placed the open book on his lap.

  ‘Can you do me a favour?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Can you pose with the plants downstairs?’

  He studied her expression, trying to work out if she was serious. ‘Why?’

  ‘I photograph all the illegal shit in my life. I reckon it’s hot.’

  He nodded. ‘But why do you need me to pose with the plants?’

  She shrugged as though it was obvious. ‘Otherwise you can’t tell how big they are.’

  It was the first time she’d made an effort to talk to him. ‘Yeah, okay. Let’s do it.’

  He heaved off the couch, pushed the coffee table aside and folded over the rug. After lifting the cellar door, he retrieved two pairs of sunnies from the kitchen table and handed a pair to Jade. As they descended the stairs, he turned and asked, ‘You’re not going to post the photos on Facebook or anything, are you?’

  ‘Don’t worry, babe. It’s just for my private collection. I hate Facebook. I’m not even on it.’

  He nodded. ‘Yeah, me neither. Waste of time.’

  She steadied herself on his shoulder in the darkness at the bottom of the stairs, put on the sunglasses and followed him through the curtains. It still thrilled Andrew to see them—all those dope plants under the hot, white lights.

  ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘Where do you want me?’

  Jade put a finger to her lips then pointed. ‘Can you climb in among them all and stick your head out?’

  Andrew laughed. ‘Sure.’ He dropped to his hands and knees and crawled between the raised pots. He found a gap, stood up and parted the branches of the two front plants. ‘Like this?’

  ‘Perfect.’

  The camera clicked.

  ‘How about this?’ he said and raised his hand to his forehead as though scanning the horizon.

  ‘Nice.’

  The camera clicked again. Andrew worked his way through a series of mimes and positions amongst the plants, trying not to laugh.

  ‘Cool,’ Jade said, ten minutes later. ‘That’ll do.’

  He followed her through the curtains and took off his sunglasses, his eyes adjusting as he climbed the stairs. He closed the door and returned the rug and table to their positions while Jade sat on the couch looking at the pictures.

  ‘Can I see?’ he asked and sat beside her.

  ‘Sure.’ She leaned against him, placed the camera on his thigh and slowly flicked through the photos.

  ‘Why didn’t you ask Tim to pose in the photos?’ he asked.

  ‘I did…But he wouldn’t do it.’

  Andrew’s stomach sank. ‘Why?’

  ‘He didn’t want me to photograph the plants at all, so umm…yeah…you might not want to mention this to him. He’s paranoid that the photos might get into the wrong hands.’ She laughed. ‘God! As if I’d be that stupid!’

  She clicked past the last of the hydro shots, and he glimpsed a photo of Jade in black lingerie and suspenders, applying make-up. ‘Ha!’ she said, turning the camera away from him. ‘You weren’t meant to see that!’

  ‘Where was that taken?’

  ‘Oh, one of the girls snapped me in the dressing room at a shoot.’

  ‘Is that what you do for work? Modelling?’

  ‘Yep.’ She turned off the camera and placed it on the table. ‘I’ve got regular work up the coast a couple of days a week. Catalogues for K-Mart and that kind of thing. Nothing special.’

  The photo looked too racy for a K-Mart ad, but Andrew didn’t say anything.

  ‘Andy?’ She bit her lip and scrunched her nose. ‘Can I ask you something a bit weird?’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Have you ever…’ She lowered her voice. ‘Lost it when you’re having sex with Heidi?’

  ‘Lost what?’

  ‘Your erection.’

  ‘Not so far.’

  ‘Oh…’ She seemed disappointed. ‘Not ever?’

  He shook his head. ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s happened to Tim a couple of times. And, let’s just say, it’s not something I’m used to.’

  Andrew started to smile.

  ‘It’s not funny,’ she said. ‘And don’t you dare say anything.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘He gets angry if I bring it up with him.’

  Andrew paused. ‘Maybe he’s jealous. You’re probably hanging around with lots of male models, aren’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, kind of.’

  ‘And it doesn’t help either that you work up the coast, come home exhausted and sleep half the day. Why can’t you do some modelling work in Byron?’

  ‘There’s no good paying work in Byron. Besides, it’s fun staying up there. Everyone I work with is hot—like really hot—so we get invited to loads of parties—free drinks, free drugs. And the girls I work with let me stay with them whenever I want. If Tim can’t get it up ’cause he’s jealous, then he needs to get over it. How else am I going to make a living? Work a hospitality job on award wage like Heidi? I don’t think so.’ She yawned and stretched her arms. ‘You know what?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I think it’s good Heidi’s found someone like you.’

  He hesitated. ‘What do you mean: someone like me?’ ‘Someone safe and dependable.’

  Andrew cleared his throat. ‘That’s not the most exciting description I’ve heard of myself…Safe?’

  Jade fixed her gaze on something in the backyard. ‘You know, when Heidi first came to Byron, she was absolutely crazy.’

  ‘What do you mean crazy? What did she do?’

  Jade threw her hands in the air. ‘You name it, she did it. It was like she didn’t care about anything. That was when I first met her. And we had so much fun together— just partying, taking drugs and going out dancing. Then she started busking with Tim, and I guess both of us had a thing for him—but in the end, Tim chose me.’

  Andrew looked down at his hands. ‘I see.’

  ‘Things were kind of tense for a while. But then you arrived. And it’s great, ’cause you’ve brought things back into balance.’

  ‘I have?’

  ‘Yeah…And…well…Heidi can be a bit unstable at times. I mean, the scar on her arm…’ ‘No, you’ve got it wrong. She was pushed through a window when she was a kid—’ Jade laughed then stopped suddenly, covering her mouth. ‘Wow…oops…That’s what she told you? And you believed her?’ She stood and wandered into the kitchen, shaking her head. ‘No wonder she likes you so much.’

  Andrew lay awake staring at the book Heidi had left on the floor. 1001 Baby Names. It was bookmarked a third of the way in. She’d told him she was on the pill, but he’d never seen her taking it. He’d seen her taking sleeping tablets at night, but never anything that looked like the contraceptive pill on a regular basis. Maybe she wasn�
��t on the pill at all. Maybe she was looking for a sperm donor and would kick him out of the house the moment she fell pregnant. He realised he didn’t know much about her.

  ‘Are you still awake?’ he whispered.

  She sighed. ‘How could I possibly be asleep when you keep jiggling around like that?’

  ‘What’s with the baby names book?’

  She switched the lamp on and looked at him. ‘Don’t you want to have a baby with me?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘We could have triplets,’ she said, smiling now as, lying across his belly, she snatched the book off the floor and flicked through the pages. ‘Samson…Terrence and…Tariq.’

  ‘I’m not ready to be a father. And you’d be a terrible mother.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘From the sound of things, you party too much.’

  ‘But I’d stop for our babies.’

  ‘Seriously,’ Andrew said. ‘What’s the book for?’

  She threw the book onto the floor and cuddled up to him. ‘Sometimes I like to think about changing my name.’

  ‘But I love your name. It suits you.’

  ‘I don’t like it.’

  ‘What would you change it to?’

  ‘Delilah.’

  ‘You don’t look like a Delilah.’

  ‘That’s ’cause you know me as Heidi. If I introduced myself as Delilah, you’d think I looked like a Delilah.’

  ‘You’re actually serious about this?’

  ‘I’ve printed out the application forms—I just don’t have enough ID.’

  ‘Please don’t change your name.’

  ‘Why not? It’d be like starting over. Closing that old file called Heidi and opening a new one called Delilah.’ ‘It would still be the same file.’

  She rolled away from him, switched off the lamp and fell silent.

  ‘I’m gonna get really trashed this weekend,’ she mumbled later, almost asleep.

  The bed frame creaked as he propped himself up on one elbow. ‘What? All weekend?’

  She yawned. ‘Yep.’

  He searched for her hand, stroked her wrist and played with her fingers. ‘Why?’

  She paused a long time before answering. ‘It’s the anniversary of my mum’s accident.’

  ‘What accident?’